Best Ways to Comfort My Partner During Infertility
About six million women in the U.S. in any given year over the past decade have experienced infertility, or the inability to get pregnant after trying for one year. Female infertility is commonly attributed to ovulation problems. Ovulation is necessary to produce eggs that can be fertilized by a man’s sperm.
While infertility may not always be due to blocked fallopian tubes, uterine fibroids, or structural issues with the uterus or endometriosis, a woman can be left feeling like infertility is her fault. This feeling of guilt may be unbearable for some women to face. When this happens, as her partner, you should do everything in your power to comfort her during these times.
What Can You Do to Help Your Partner Cope with Infertility?
If you and your partner have been trying to get pregnant for over a year and have been unsuccessful, consider making an appointment with a fertility specialist. A number of testing options can determine exactly what is causing infertility.
Once the cause of infertility is discovered, your doctor may recommend fertility drugs for women to restore normal ovulation, or suggest an IUI if a man has a low sperm count. While waiting to see if a pregnancy occurs during fertility treatment, the best ways you can provide support and comfort is to:
- Start the infertility conversation yourself. This tells your partner that you are open to talking through their concerns, hopes, and fears about what happens if conception does not occur.
- Educate yourself about you and your partner’s particular infertility problem. Spend time researching on the Internet together. Online support groups can be a great source of information regarding infertility treatments and coping with unexplained infertility.
- Remind your partner that infertility is treatable and that many couples become pregnant using one or more assisted reproductive technologies. Of course, you should be aware that the mother’s age, health, and history of previous pregnancies play key roles in the success of infertility treatment.
- Resist the urge to blame infertility on “should have, shouldn’t have” scenarios. For example, saying things like “maybe we shouldn’t have waited,” does nothing but make you and your partner feel guilty for no reason. Infertility happens for many reasons that no one can predict. The best way to cope is to decide what you two are going to do about it. With so many options available, infertility should not be your only option.
- Say no to baby-oriented activities if you know they will upset you. There is nothing wrong with making an excuse for not attending a baby shower. Send a gift certificate through the mail or via email to the baby shower honoree instead of shopping for baby items.
- Balance realism with optimism. While it’s natural to pin all your hopes on an IVF or IUI procedure, don’t let your hopeful attitude overwhelm realistic expectations. Many women undergo two or three ARTs before they get pregnant.
Don’t Let Infertility Overwhelm You and Your Partner’s Lives
Being treated for infertility often feels like it’s a full-time job in itself. It’s important for you and your partner’s physical and emotional well-being to pursue a life outside of the fertility clinic. Take the time to go to the movies, take a mini-vacation, spend the day hiking in the woods, or relaxing with a good book and a glass of wine. Don’t let conversations between you and your partner always revolve around ongoing fertility treatments or wondering if your partner’s next pregnancy test will be positive. Don’t ponder the past or worry about the future. Live for the moment and enjoy the time you and your partner have together.
Seeing A Fertility Specialist
The staff at Viera Fertility Clinic is here to help you in any way possible regarding your problems with infertility. We offer fertility testing, examinations, and a full range of assisted reproductive technologies.